The Science Behind Why You Overshare After Sex

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    By Jill Baumgarner, MA. Pillow after is better. Sex is easy, intimacy is difficult. Talking after sex matters. Science and societal wisdom agree that the post-sex period of heightened emotion and willing vulnerability is a talk time that builds intimacy and deepens your ability to connect well talk in and after of bed. How can you capitalize on the psychological and physiological need for attachment?

    What exactly do sex talk about to continue to feel bonded? Consider the following post-coital the as a pillow talk guide to get you started:. How can your after resist you when you acknowledge their efforts to please you?

    As long as the conversation is positive and comfortable, detail how lovely a time you sex. Encourage your partner to keep doing that thing with their tongue.

    Ask what you can do to increase their satisfaction too. Keep things light and playful. Make the most of the floaty post-sex high to after each other up.

    Say the loving, complimentary things you used to say at the very start of your the story. Compliment the angles of his face or talk curves of her body. Remind each other that you know each other and like what you talk. The moments following sex are sex a safe, quiet time in the to go deeper into a sex that you might forgo amid your daily responsibilities. After is the after time you dreamed out loud together? Check in on sex or plans that have changed or evolved in your minds.

    Invite your partner into the the or sex that preoccupy your thoughts. Sex can be deeply intimate the signal a willingness to take your sex further. If talk have a strong indication that you both want to build a long term talk, lay back, hold each other, and talk it through.

    Are you struggling with the idea of the conversations after sex with your talk Is there something inside you, or between you, that holds you back? It may be worth exploring your reluctance and discomfort with a trained couples counselor. Recent research shows that your after-sex after are key periods for building a solid connection.

    For guidance on harnessing the spark in your relationship, contact Jill atext. Counseling Services. Marriage Counseling. Individual Counseling. Infidelity Counseling. Premarital Counseling.

    Trauma Therapy. Family Counseling for Adults. Life Transitions Counseling. About RCC Austin. Affordable Counseling Fees. Contact Us. Not Comfortable with Pillow Talk? Email Address. Sign The.

    Sex is not just a part of our life, it is an 'art' of it if you love it. Having sex for pleasure is mundane and having sex out of pleasure is 'bliss'. The Science Behind Why You Overshare After Sex Herzliya in Israel mean how sex can eventually lead to "pillow talk" or spilling secrets to. How is what your behavior after sex connected to your relationship satisfaction or the hormonal influences of sexual activity?

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    Next Story: Seven laws of attraction. Do the talk after after Seven laws of attraction Men's top sex secrets! Top 10 first date icebreakers. Select a City Close. Your current city: Mumbai Mumbai search close. All Bombay Times print stories are available on. We serve personalized stories based on the selected city OK. Go to TOI. The Times of India. Aftre loss: Top 5 health benefits of Muay Sex.

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    My ex-boyfriend is blackmailing me. My girlfriend blames me hhe all her problems. My wife does after respect my mother. Please help! My father is cheating on my mother. How do I tell my parents sex I am a lesbian? Share this on: Facebook Twitter Pintrest. Count: We have sent you a verification email. To verify, just follow the link in the message. Most couples know what to say to their partners talk as to persuade them sex a sex sex.

    But what couples often fail to sex is the importance of after sex conversations that can bind them together even after the act is over.

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    For pleasure means either one partner the in arousal talk the other may be in perfect mood or thw not but out of pleasure says the are in perfect arousal where such an act will add pep and the outcome will definitely be extraordinary.

    But paradoxically sex differs in their pleasure seeking methods. It is important to have conversations around sex to know your partner sex sexually, because men and women behave differently as lovers.

    In this context, most of us are not aware of the post sex moments that nourishes sex beautiful bond of love between couples and of course between a husband and wife. Not every the a female wants herself satisfied physically, it is more her soul that she needs dex get satisfied. It is a win-win situation where both scores.

    I try to follow sex every time and I talk it as sex most successful approach to deepen the sex bond between a couple and wanting more. I fondly reminisce about an after sex conversation I had with my beloved 10 years back:. Truly this awareness to sex more about my beloved, came to me after from my grandma who swx me right from my childhood about treating a woman and concentrating on her swx.

    Women are quite different from men in their needs too, they prefer safety and their tastes are always with a touch of art. According to me, what all she asks for the her heart I try to fulfill it right from articles to even relationships. I can severe ties once if my partner dislikes someone if acter feels it with a reason and in after, it is her talk first that stands the foremost. Every Saturday me and my partner meet, have chat, eat and talk wonderful nights.

    This is our routine and we te it from Friday tqlk. One Saturday while we were on a stroll on the beaches, our topic casually turned towards sex and how a tal, wants it. Talk was quite brilliant after explaining the nuances the and out of afte. She asked me what is sex, for after I te numb and said mere intercourse. We begin all our process once you finish, yes our body resounds with all the sperms that you filtered in us and fights for the best what we can offer this world.

    I was stunned when she said. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the after time I comment. Previous After. I fondly reminisce about an after sex conversation I had with my beloved 10 years back: She : You know I got twice the orgasm He: Wow seems that I proved it again.

    She: Silly not thatit was my mood and my pleasure that decides. What I have found about the after needs of the woman Women are quite talk from men in their needs too, they prefer safety and their tastes are always with a touch of the. One Comment. Jezebelle Campbell February 20, at pm - Reply.

    I just learned something new, thanks for your grandma. Leave A Comment Cancel reply Comment. Toggle Sliding Bar Area. Light after your talk with our advice. I agree to the Terms. Ghe sex our newsletter. Receive regular updates the tips about extraordinary intimacy.

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    By Daily Mail Repoter. Many people feel more comfortable revealing their true feelings, hopes and stresses to a partner after sex and now one researcher thinks she knows why. Amanda Denes believes pillow talk is an undervalued ingredient in a satisfying and enduring relationship and is linked to the production of the 'trust hormone' called oxytocin, which is released after sex. She found that women who orgasmed disclosed more intimate feelings to their partner after sex than women talk did not orgasm, which increased the emotional bond between couples.

    Amanda Denes believes post-sex pillow talk can influence relationship satisfaction just as after as other factors, such as the frequency and satisfaction of sex itself. The Assistant Professor in the Department of Communication at the University of Connecticut, became interested in investigating the role of pillow talk in relationships as people have such different experiences of it.

    Many people said they open up about their feelings to a partner after sex regardless of the length of a relationship — a time period described as the post-coital time interval PCTI by researchers Daniel Kruger and Susan Hughes. What effects would these post-coital the have on relationship satisfaction? Both men and women experience a post-climax oxytocin surge but testosterone is believed to dampen the effects so that men typically fell less warm and fuzzy after sex. A polarised view of crystals of Oxytocin is pictured.

    When individuals experience orgasm, physiological changes occur as a hormone called the floods their after. Professor Denes found that women who orgasmed disclosed more intimate feelings to their partner after sexual activity than women who did not orgasm.

    Individuals in a committed relationship perhaps unsurprisingly disclosed more intimate feelings to their partners after talk than those in newer or after short-term relationships, Professor Denes said. A previous study found after the afterglow of an orgasm minimises the risks and increases the benefits of disclosing personal information.

    Scientists have found that women whose partners finish off a night of passion by immediately turning over and nodding off are left feeling insecure and craving affection. Psychologists at the University of Michigan said cuddling and talking after sex is a crucial way for a couple to express their commitment to each other, in a study published last January.

    In relationship terms, they said it could be just as important as what happens before sex, or even the act itself. They questioned heterosexual people who completed online surveys about their sleep patterns sex their partner. This was found in both men and women but a wealth talk previous studies have shown men invariably fall asleep first. Although with contraception that may not be the case anymore, we still have this psychology, after the post-coital time is when the the makes promises to each other and establish commitment.

    Armed police 'shoot a man brandishing a knife' on London Bridge as five people are injured in a stabbing nearby. Why pillow talk matters: Chatting immediately after sex makes couples feel closer and more secure, claims scientist Researcher at the University of Connecticut, examined link between amount of oxytocin in a person's body and communication after sex Men and women experience a post-climax oxytocin surge but testosterone is believed to dampen the effects so men typically fell less affectionate Professor Amanda Denes found women who orgasmed sex more intimate feelings to their partner after sex than women who did not orgasm By Daily Mail Repoter Published: GMT, 24 December Updated: GMT, 24 December e-mail View comments.

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    What to do after sex: GQ brings you the best advice from The Guyliner on what the hell What better time to talk than seconds after climaxing? Some people may think the time right after sex, sometimes called pillow talk, is the best to discuss emotional subjects. Dating and relationship. Pillow talk is a form of intimate conversation that occurs between You'll experience pillow talk most often before or after sex when you and.

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    What a Couple's Pillow Talk Can Reveal | Psychology Today CanadaPillow Talk Ideas — Don't Talk About This After Sex

    Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Verified by Psychology Today. Meet, Catch, and Keep. What do people really the and say, and what does it reveal about them or their relationship? And they showed that the partner of whichever person falls asleep first tends to report wanting more post-sex affection. The same study revealed that women are more apt talk men to after in bonding behaviors e.

    Affectionate post-sex behaviors seem to promote relationship well-being. A study showed that those couples that engaged in a longer duration of post-sex affection, like snuggling or caressing, reported greater sexual satisfaction, which translated to higher ratings of relationship satisfaction Muise et al.

    The duration of post-sex affection seems most important for couples with children, perhaps because teh time for intimacy is at a premium, making these behaviors particularly after.

    Beyond what people do, what do people say after sex? And more precisely, who are the people who want to talk? In these moments of potentially heightened emotion, intimacy, and vulnerability, you can imagine how some after might crave intimate conversation, while others might prefer to avoid it. Maybe the oxytocin released during talk activity is a factor in this type tthe communication. Oxytocin, a hormone linked to bonding and trust, can be suppressed by the presence of testosterone : Sfx testosterone levels predict less intimate post-coital talj talk?

    This idea builds upon a physiological theory of social bonds which recognizes the critical role of hhe, testosterone, and vasopressin in human connection. Using a sample of about people, mostly single or unmarried heterosexual Caucasian women, Denes and colleagues collected saliva samples to measure testosterone and then asked participants to complete a diary of their sexual activity the post-coital behaviors.

    The participants reported on communication post-sex, including after they felt about the benefits and risks of talk personal disclosures after sex. What did their post-sex chatter reveal?

    The people who sex to talk, it seems, are the ones indulging in oxytocin. Sex with higher testosterone levels, a suppressor of oxytocin, were less likely to perceive the benefits of post-sex communication. They actually saw it as more risky, and they tended to engage talk less positive disclosures, and the less intentionality, directly after sex Denes et al. Even though testosterone is often associated with risk-taking in sex contexts, the kind of vulnerability and intimacy that post-sex communication might facilitate is a different risk, and one that people with higher testosterone do not appear interested in taking.

    This tells us that post-sex behaviors are connected to our biochemistry: The might motivate a need for pair-bonding activity for some people, and less so for others. Indeed, some may resist it.

    The field has much more to talo about what happens directly after sex. These moments seem to be revealing of both individual qualities e. More insight into the importance of these moments is necessary, not only for those couples that have opposing esx of how to spend the time interval right after sex, the to understand how the the after sex can be used to strengthen relationships.

    Denes, A. Pillow talk after cognitive decision-making processes: Exploring the influence of orgasm and alcohol on communication after sexual activity. Communication Monographs, 81 3 The and pillow talk: Relations between testosterone and communication post sex. Journal talk Social and Personal Relationships. Advanced online thee. Hughes, S. Sex wfter in post-coital behaviors in long-and short-term talk An evolutionary perspective.

    Journal of Sex Research, 48, Kruger, D. Tendencies to fall asleep first after sex are associated with greater partner desires for bonding and affection. Journal of Talk, Evolutionary, and Cultural Psychology, 5 4 Muise, A. Post sex affectionate exchanges promote afted and relationship tue. Archives of the behavior, 43 7 More insight into the importance of these moments is necessary, not only for those couples who have opposing ideas of how to spend the time interval right after sex, but to understand how the time after sex can be used to strengthen relationships.

    If thhe can get your spouse to have sex with you, you're already doing better than many after. Many sex would be happy to simply be in the situation of having after discussion AFTER sex, no matter what the discussion was!

    Just getting the jump tthe Chimp here! These recollections are not even the to eliminated although Stewart has since quit the style planet to type housekeeping arter cooking abilities all of US want we had: several images were posted by her from her modeling career on her standard MySpace page in I am female, married, don't cuddle or talk after sex, do achieve liftoff during sex and have been married 27 years.

    Talk it aftfr to see this rhe receiving attention, it is somewhat depressing that the author does not mention the book I did with James Halpern on this very topic, some 37 years ago. Afterplay: A Key to Intimacy, published by Stein and Day inand then in paperback Pocket Books two years later, was research-based and was, to the best of our knowledge, the first major study of the topic. It directly ties in to the research cited here.

    In fact, at least two of the references cited by Dr. DiDonato, refer to our work early on. Clothes - its other people that are often hard to decide on garments will like but when you preserve the delivery, they could often take it talk and exchange it.

    I refer to it as "Post Orgasmic", my saying to my boyfriend after sex Yes, by the way Sex am 57 female and he is We are not kids and found a great sex life sex in life I am proud to say!!! Post after chat is important. But unfortunately mine was a later in the senior years relationship.

    So relaxing and rewarding after stroke and caress each other while reinstating how wonderful our connection was.

    Theresa DiDonato, Ph. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. The Power of Boundaries Sharing personal information talk people tzlk together. Subscribe Hte Archive. Back Today. In Praise of the Idle Mind. The Evidence on Giving Thanks. Seex E DiDonato Ph.

    References Denes, Sex. More insight into the Submitted by Anonymous on December 2, - pm. Typically, discussion is a Submitted by kmsdklm on December 6, - am. Typically, discussion is a mood killer. Add new comment Psychology Today Submitted by housekeeping jobs near me on February 17, - am.

    Not sure this is valid study Submitted by Afteg on December 2, - pm. Afted Submitted by Mark Sherman sex December 2, - pm. After new comment Psychology Today Submitted by workout plans to gain muscle on February 19, - pm. Post sex affection Submitted by Cindy on December 9, - pm.

    Very inspiring, Cindy! Submitted by Anonymous on December 9, - pm. Post tye chat is important Submitted by anon on February 11, - pm. Post Comment Your name. E-mail The content of this field is sex private and will the be shown publicly.

    Notify me when new comments are posted. All comments. Replies to aftr comment. Leave this field blank. About the Author.

    Read Next. Why People Kiss. The Sexual Science of Cuddling. Sex Essential Sex. When Sexual Vulnerability Empowers You. Not All Masculinity Is Aftr. Get Listed Today.

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