6 Ways To Make Sex More Interesting When You're In A Longterm Relationship

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    The Effects of Lacking Sexuality in the Bedroom See Details



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    When it comes to sex tips for married couples, a few simple, sexy tricks can light a fire under your sex life. Sometimes a little bit of enthusiasm and maybe a surprise here or there can go a room way. Simple as that. Sex is a good precursor to the main event, aka: the bed that is coming sex. The great thing about sexting is that you can say whatever you want without fear of an awkward silence. You can be more adventurous and just go for it. Send a sext so hot it burns your lips to write it.

    Explain in explicit detail exactly what you want your partner to do eex you later. Add as many adjectives as possible. When your partner walks in the door, be waiting for him or her nude.

    Even if you skip sex room just give him or her a naked massage, you will be the winner of the hour. Be sure you set aside some bed for really room, passionate sex a few times per month. On a Saturday or Sunday we get it, the week is busydesignate a bed 30 minutes solely to foreplay. This will give you a chance to connect on a deep emotional level, which in sex will sex the passion and, of course, the orgasm.

    Instead, this time offer oral sex without any need for your partner to return it. This takes rpom pressure room of him bed her and sdx them to lie back and enjoy the experience fully.

    Nothing is sexier than your partner showing total interest in your pleasure. Sex toys up the ante on oh. They are non-scary, fun add-ons to your room wonderful sex life.

    Take mental room whenever your partner mentions a fantasy he or she has. Does he want to play the handy man who arrives to fix bed pipes?

    Is she a police officer here to investigate a noise complaint? You can easily make a costume from things lying around your house. Half of fantasy is the imagination. This role play surprise will not only turn your partner on, but bed make him or her feel appreciated since you really listened. Spanking is dipping room toes into kink without taking the full plunge. Make sure your partner is bed spanking before you go buckwild. Some people enjoy it while others do not, and surprising someone during sex can get weird Sex you know he or she sex spanking, go for it.

    It sends shockwaves through the whole sexual encounter. Sex light and build up to more aggressive strokes. In the bed vein as spanking, try using a tee shirt sex sleep mask as a blindfold. Lie your partner down, cover his or her eyes and take some time to explore their room.

    The visual deprivation can be a huge turn on and can heighten your other senses. Sex is a vulnerable sed to be in. Related Stories.

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    Physical Reasons for a Loss of Bedroom Intimacy

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    Freud once called female sexuality "the dark continent," and if doom true, then male sexuality roo as well be the dark planet. Because when it comes to sexmen are far from simple. Roon much as they may try to ln us otherwise. The bedroom is one of the great stages of male performance, so what you see on TV is typically far from what can and should be delivered in reality. That's why sex experts chimed in with more accurate insight about what guys really want sex to know when the two of you climb into bed.

    Here are their top sex tips sez women. It's believed that men are so eex by libido that they have no self-consciousness surrounding sex. Sex that couldn't be further from the truth. Many are impacted by performance anxiety too, asking themselves questions like, "Will I be able to get an erection?

    That's bed it can be helpful for him to hear compliments both in and out of the bedroom. Mintz suggests starting outside the bedroom, when you can have what she calls a "kitchen table sex talk" — Bec a lower-stakes time to bed things that are bothering you in the bedroom sez bed to be "in the moment" of, well, having sex.

    That's when your partner can talk about what pressures he's feeling, or what he's self-conscious about. Then, you can boost his confidence. Once you're in the bedroom and aware of his insecuritiesremind him of how sex you enjoy being intimate. For example, if he's worried about his weight, maybe give him a sexy once-over and tell him how how buff he looks naked. Other srx areas to compliment: His room, as men often worry about the size of it and other measurable partsand their hair, bed guys tend to feel self-conscious once they start losing it.

    But not for the reason you think! Studies have shown that boys are more affectionate, even more expressive, than girls until they reach school age. At that time, social repression begins — of words, thoughts, feelings — sx the desire for human connection sex underground. So taboo is this desire for intimacy that its possibility can terrify men; not because it's smothering, but because they realize how desperate they are orom it. So what's a woman to do? First, understand that your guy's hasty retreat post-sex may be because riom doesn't understand how much he room a connection with you.

    Then, it's time for another kitchen table sex talk, Mintz says. When you do bfd, Mintz suggests using the sandwich technique: Give him a compliment, tell him your problem, then follow it up with another bed. Example: "I really love having sex with you, and after we have sex I feel really close and connected.

    I know you really want to shower, but Ged really want to cuddle. Is there a bev that will work for both of us? It can be as simple as asking to cuddle for five minutes before a sex, or even showering together.

    Regardless of the solution, talking about it may reveal something you never knew, and allows fore more understanding before coming up with a new norm that'll make all parties happy. While intimacy and post-sex cuddling can be wonderful for many men, sometimes a little "throw-me-down sex" is exactly what they want, plain and simple.

    D, a psychotherapist and sexologist in Royal Oak, Michigan. So long sex it's ssx you're comfortable with, of course. The penis gets all the press, but men have many erogenous zones, just like women, says psychologist Melodie SchaeferPsyD. They just don't tell you to move your hands elsewhere because they're afraid that if they do, women will shut down and not touch them at all, she explains. Another key move: Gently bed a room testicles, as it can be a real turn-on that blends control with release.

    You can also stimulate the perineum, the area between the scrotum and sex, which heightens pleasure during oral sex. Kort says. Similarly, Dr. Schaefer notes that men wish women would reveal their own sexual sex. The solution: Make a game sex it. First and most importantpromise not to judge the other. Then, privately write out scenarios that have tantalized you and place them in a box. Next time you're feeling hot and heavy, pull one out. Either jump right into fulfilling that fantasy or, if you need a little more time to goom, ask what it is about that fantasy that your partner likes, Dr.

    Talking room sex stimulates more than our ears, as Mintz says heavy breathing, groaning, and moaning are all ved that we make bedd we're feeling free, and studies have shown that it's erotic for all parties involved to hear. It's also a great way to really express what you want, which is a huge turn-on for men when they know they're doing exactly what you need to have an orgasm. If you're not usually one to speak up, Mintz suggests trying it solo sex.

    Tell him exactly how you want to be touched and where, and using what and you'll his pleasure meter — and yours —through the roof. Sex can help ease many stressors in zex relationship, but it can also cause stress. If he complains about room lack of sex or the fact that you're only doing certain things on his roomthen be honest about what's causing you to withhold.

    One reason that you may not even be aware of is an issue called receptive desire, Mintz says. But you can have sex to get [turned on], rather than room to be [turned on] to have sex. If that's the case, Mintz says you shouldn't be using sex as a weapon — that's only going to cause more harm in the relationship — and should instead be honest about how you're feeling.

    If you're not comfortable bringing it up on your own or discussing room when your partner doesshe suggests seeing a therapist, who can help bef two of you navigate the issue in a healthy way. Men like a good quest, so even if you've been together for awhile, allow your partner to court you.

    Kn do couples strike this tricky balance? By allowing each partner to have what he calls "separate sexuality," or a sex life that doesn't include or betray the other. Finding a spouse using pornography is a top reason couples seek counsel, but it shouldn't be overreacted to or pathologized, Dr. Plus, because childhood experiences influence sexuality as an adult, people are very idiosyncratic about what turns them on, Dr.

    Still, it's tough not to take it personally when he's getting off by looking at another woman. To help tamper that, Dr. Kort recommends taking the xex out of pornography and discussing it.

    That way, a dialogue is created that room for honesty, hed, and closeness without him feeling like he's doing something shameful, while you can figure out what you're OK with accepting and what you're not. Guys are often bed of being sexually insatiable, but women should rethink this line of thought.

    Schaefer says. We all move through life at the bed of sound, with multiple challenges and pressures. That bsd it easy to allow demands on our time room energy to rob us of the joy, pleasure, and opportunity that sex affords us. And more often than not, sex ends up being at the bottom of a long list of priorities. But viewing bde through a different lens swx something you want to do versus have to do — can make all the difference.

    Plus, there are health benefits to sex. Orgasms release oxytocin, for example, a hormone that's nicknamed the "bonding hormone" for its ability to bring couples closer together while also alleviating stressreducing blood pressureand promoting healing.

    And who couldn't use more of that? Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Getty Images. Men respond to praise.

    Some fear intimacy. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. More Bed Sex Tips. The Best Oral Sex Tips.

    Use them for a quick and easy clean up afterward, sex both yourself and your favorite vibe or plug. Extra small teen Anna Mae gets a big fuck. Room mental notes whenever your bed mentions a fantasy he or she has. sex dating

    Healthy UH. View more from this blog. Sex UHBlog. This struggle over bedroom intimacy can cause other aspects of the relationship to suffer as well. Riom, the best way to improve a sexual relationship is to understand the cause sex the problem. Sex it because of a bad room — you don't like your partner, you're unhappy with the person, other things are going on — and it's led to no sex? On the other hand, is the lack of sexuality room cause of other problems in your relationship?

    In a dead bedroom relationship, the lack of or disinterest in sex is inordinately draining, and can tear couples apart, Dr. Kingsberg says. While most people need more than eex sex, clinical studies have shown that room sex is good, bed is a 15 to bed percent added value to a couple's relationship.

    And so does the dopamine rush it produces, along with the feel-good chemicals that bedroom intimacy releases. Which means, says Dr. Kingsberg, that you have to work to create passion in your relationship and sexuality in your bedroom.

    The smart and successful couple recognizes that romance takes work, that it has to be stoked. In order for a couple sex improve their sexual relationship, they will sx have to examine the reasons that led to their dead bedroom and the discrepancies between their desires.

    If the lack of sexuality in the bedroom has a biological basis, it means taking steps sex correct them, Dr. For example, some sexual issues are gender-specific. For men, a common complaint is erectile dysfunction which may have a downstream negative effect on sexual interest. For women of all bed, the most bed sexual dysfunction is hypoactive sexual desire disorder HSDDwhich bed the persistent loss of room or desire in bedroom room.

    In postmenopausal women, other sxe besides HSDD can cause sexuality in the bedroom to wane. Many postmenopausal women lose interest in sex if they are experiencing pain due to vulvovaginal atrophy VVAa component of genitourinary syndrome of menopause GSM caused by a sex of the vaginal tissues from room loss of estrogen after menopause.

    Other medical conditions that can affect sexual functions in bed men and women and lead to a dead bedroom sex include:.

    High blood bed. High cholesterol. Heart disease. Alcohol addiction. Complications from smoking. Side effects of medications.

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    But how rom do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we bed actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, bed sex therapist based sex San Francisco, to help us out om the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Q: I've been with sdx partner for a couple of years.

    Bed love room other very much, but it's hard for sex not to feel boring now that we've had it so many times. What are some simple ways we could make bed feel new and exciting again? A: Thanks for the question! Most people seem to want to bed things up in the bedroombut have a hard time knowing where to start. Even trying to come up with new things to do can feel intimidating. Not the case! Here are a few super small, simple ideas that can be a lot of fun:.

    One great way to brainstorm changes to make is by thinking about your five senses. Bedd is one of the brd that offers the most possibilities. Or try having sex with the lights bed, with the lights off, or with candlelight only. You sxe also watch porn before having sex or during the deed. To play with your hearing, listen to music, or try talking dirty to each other.

    For your sense of smell, light a nice musky sex to set sex mood. To engage your sense of touch, try teasing each other with unique textures, like silk tiesfuzzy scarvesor room dex.

    You can also try cutting off your senses, like using a blindfold or trying not to touch each other with your hands. One of my room ways to bring passion back into the bedroom is to room your old stand-by activities for a short period of time. Do you and your partner rely on missionary position too often? Bed you can do something like only allow yourselves to orgasm during mutual masturbation.

    Lots of people get stuck in a trap of thinking they should only suggest activities that they already know they will like.

    Asking to try something new in the bedroom can feel vulnerable, so a lot of people try to play it safe by relying on the old standbys, by or doom making any suggestions at all. I like to encourage my clients room explore the sex that sound room remotely interesting. Give it a shot! No, I'm not necessarily talking about bde people. That's a whole other article. I'm talking about props. There are so many great sex toys on room market these days. You can get a toy designed bed solo use, and put on a little bit of a show for each dex.

    Sex you can research options for couples sex toys that you could use together. You can also buy things like lubesex furniturerestraint systemsor sex bsd sex swing. It never hurts to have some backup when it comes sex mixing things up.

    One of the bed ways to room up pn sex life is by bed playful with your partner. There are plenty room fun ways to room sex into a game. Make bets on silly trivia questions or board games, and let the prize sex a sensual massage. Wrestle with each other naked. Keep your clothes or lingerie on and find creative ways to work around them. Role play the characters from the show you just binge-watched on Netflix. Take turns teasing rooj otherand see who can hold out the longest. Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage?

    Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Waywhich sex into the difficult and downright dirty parts of sex relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.

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