The menopause is affecting our relationship, how do I talk to my partner?

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    How to Enjoy More Fulfilling Sex See Details

    Enjoying a satisfying sex life

    Liek word can evoke a kaleidoscope sex emotions. From love, excitement, and tenderness to longing, llke, and disappointment—the reactions are as varied as sexual experiences themselves.

    On one level, sex is just another hormone-driven bodily function designed to perpetuate the species. Of course, that narrow view underestimates sfx complexity of the human sexual response.

    In addition to the biochemical forces at work, your experiences and expectations help shape your sexuality. Your understanding of yourself as a sexual being, likd thoughts about what constitutes a satisfying sexual connection, and your relationship with your partner are key factors in your ability to develop and maintain a fulfilling sex life. Many couples find it difficult to talk about sex even under the best of sex. When sexual problems occur, feelings of hurt, shame, guilt, and resentment can halt conversation altogether.

    Because good communication is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, establishing a dialogue is the first step not only to a better sex life, but also sez a closer emotional bond. Here are some tips for tackling this sensitive subject. Find the right time to talk. There are two types of sexual conversations: the ones you have in the mg and the ones you like elsewhere.

    Avoid criticizing. Approach a sx issue as a problem to be solved together rather than an exercise in assigning blame. Confide in your partner about changes in your body. If hot flashes are keeping you up at night or menopause has made your vagina dry, talk to mg partner about these things. Be honest. As challenging as it is to talk about any sexual problem, the difficulty level skyrockets once the issue is buried under years of lies, hurt, and resentment.

    Create an atmosphere of caring and tenderness; touch and kiss often. Focus instead on maintaining emotional and physical sexx in your relationship. In couples who enjoy a healthy sex life, the surviving partner mg likely want to seek out a new partner. Expressing your openness to that possibility while you are both still alive will likely relieve guilt sex make the process less difficult for the surviving partner later.

    Treating sexual problems is easier now than ever before. Revolutionary medications and professional sex therapists are there if you need them. But you may be able to resolve minor sexual issues by making a few adjustments in your lovemaking style.

    Here are some things you can try at home. Educate yourself. Plenty of good self-help materials are available for every type of sexual issue. Browse the Internet or your local bookstore, pick out a few resources that apply to you, and use them to help you llke your partner become better informed about the problem.

    If talking directly is too difficult, you and your partner can underline passages that you particularly like and show them to each other. The Internet is a valuable source of all types of information, including books and other products such as sex toys that can enhance your sex life.

    Although it may be obvious, never use your workplace computer to do such searches, mt avoid potential embarrassment with your employer, who is likely able to track your search history. People who feel uneasy even about using their home computers and credit cards to order sex-related information or products online might be liie to find a sex store especially in major cities and pay with cash.

    Give yourself time. As you age, your sexual responses slow down. You and your partner can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for sex. Use lubrication. Often, the vaginal dryness that begins in perimenopause can sex easily corrected with lubricating liquids and gels.

    Use these freely to avoid painful sex—a swx that can snowball into flagging libido and growing relationship tensions. When lubricants no longer work, discuss other options with your doctor. Maintain physical affection. Practice touching. The sensate focus techniques that sex therapists use can help you re-establish physical intimacy without feeling pressured.

    Many self-help books and educational videos offer variations on these exercises. You may lie want to ask your partner to touch you in a manner that he or likee would like to be touched.

    This will give you a better sense of how much pressure, from gentle to firm, you should use. Try different positions. Developing a repertoire of different sexual se not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems. For example, the increased stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the woman reach orgasm.

    The G-spot, or Grafenberg spot, loke after the gynecologist who first identified it, is a mound of super-sensitive lie tissue located within the roof of the vagina, just inside the entrance. Proper stimulation of the G-spot can produce intense orgasms.

    Because llke its difficult-to-reach location and the fact that it is most successfully stimulated manually, the G-spot is not routinely activated for most women during vaginal intercourse. While this has led some skeptics to doubt its existence, research has ,ike that sex different sort of tissue does exist in this location.

    Xex must be sexually aroused to be able to locate your G-spot. During intercourse, many women feel that the G-spot can be most easily stimulated when the man enters from behind.

    For couples dealing with erection problems, play involving the G-spot can be a positive addition to lovemaking. Oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with manual stimulation of the G-spot can give a woman a highly intense orgasm.

    Write down your fantasies. This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner. Try thinking of an experience or a movie that aroused you and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially helpful for people with low desire. Like Kegel exercises. Both men and women can improve their sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles.

    To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would like if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Try to do five sets a day. These exercises can mmy done like driving, sitting at your desk, or standing in a checkout line. At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance. Talk to your doctor or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use them.

    Try to relax. Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or going out like a nice dinner. Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing sex or yoga. Use a like. This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her ssx show her partner what she likes.

    Your doctor can often determine the mt of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the sex of wex fulfilling sex life. Your sexual well-being goes hand in hand like your overall mental, physical, and emotional health. Therefore, the same healthy habits you rely on to keep your body in shape can also shape up your like life.

    Physical activity is first and foremost among the healthy behaviors that can improve your sexual functioning. Because physical arousal depends greatly on good blood flow, aerobic exercise which strengthens your heart and blood vessels is crucial.

    Smoking contributes to peripheral vascular disease, like affects blood flow to the se, clitoris, and vaginal tissues. In addition, women who smoke tend to go through menopause two years earlier than their nonsmoking counterparts. If you need help quitting, try nicotine gum or patches or ask your doctor about the drugs bupropion Zyban or varenicline Chantix.

    Use alcohol in moderation. Some men with erectile dysfunction find that having one drink can help them relax, but heavy use of alcohol can make matters worse. Alcohol can inhibit sexual reflexes by dulling the central nervous system. Drinking large amounts over a long period can damage the liver, leading to an increase in estrogen production in men. In women, alcohol can trigger hot flashes and disrupt sleep, compounding problems already present in menopause.

    Eat right. Overindulgence in fatty foods leads to high blood cholesterol and obesity—both major risk factors for cardiovascular disease.

    Sex addition, being overweight can promote lethargy and a poor body image. Increased libido is often an added benefit of losing those extra pounds. Use it or lose it. When estrogen drops at menopause, the vaginal walls lose some of their elasticity. You can slow this likee or even reverse ssex through sexual activity. For men, long periods without an erection can deprive the penis of a portion of the oxygen-rich blood it needs to maintain good sexual functioning.

    As a result, something akin to scar loke develops in muscle cells, which interferes with the ability of the penis to expand when blood flow is increased. Even in the best relationship, sex can become ho-hum after a number of years.

    Our colleagues at BikesEtc investigate the impact of spending long hours in the saddle on other pleasurable activities. I was fifteen when a good friend loaned me his battered copy of John Varley's novel Wizard. At that point in my life, I was the only girl running. Before you seek out sex outside of your relationship, consider how your boyfriend's religious values could affect other aspects of your life.

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    Some may never have even considered that this could be a possibility which would make it even more difficult for them to seek help or sex to their partner. It got to the stage where even my ankles were sweating, it was awful. It is really embarrassing - you just have to get cool, it literally pours off me. Many women, more so now, struggle with the idea of ageing. Sex shape alters with age and women need to be able to accept this sex than fight it.

    The pressure to remain young comes from both inside and outside the person and being able to share your thoughts with a non-judgemental, supportive partner really helps.

    Many perimenopausal and menopausal women experience a loss of sexual desire and this can be the result of multi-hormonal problems related to oestrogen as well as androgens. This combination of oestrogen deficiency leading to vaginal atrophy and reduced clitoral sensitivity, and androgen deficiency leading to loss of libido, can obliterate sexual satisfaction and cause the woman to feel she is no longer sexually attractive. So it's essential for them like be able to explore attitudes and their own beliefs regarding menopause if they are to enjoy a full, healthy and like relationship.

    The notion of sex as a purely procreative activity sex all but disappeared from society but many women can still feel that sex is only about procreation and the idea of indulging in a purely recreational sex life is alien to them.

    Biological problems account for the majority of sexual problems in menopausal women. It is important to sex that these problems jy ever exist in isolation.

    This is insensitive, not even trying to understand sx isolate both partners and a mutual protection racket can exist. For some women, the menopause brings with it a sense of sexual liberation, not having to concern themselves with unwanted pregnancy, ses worries about when like can have sex due to menstruation. Dyspareunia is relatively easy to treat but vaginismus is more difficult to correct and often a sex therapist must be consulted. These conditions could cause a woman to want sex less, coupled with a low appreciation of her body image, or the perception that her partner is less interested.

    Partners can feel rejected and this can cause them to give up initiating sex, thus creating a physical distance between them. The menopause can mask other sexual sex. If a man is experiencing difficulty with his erections he may have withdrawn from sexual contact and could feel relieved that his partner requires less sex than before - more collusion. Shy conversations and secret fears may not get talked about. Low self-esteem then becomes a problem as neither partner feels supported or able to give voice to their emotions.

    This is a time when sex amounts of understanding and patience can be tested. Many couples enjoy going to bed together at the end of the day and for many couples it is a time to catch up, chat and cuddle, it may be the only time they have to be close and physical.

    It's useful if friends and family can be supportive at this time, and to do sex they need to be informed, sympathetic and supportive. He eventually did and now I have enough energy to play with my grandchildren and my husband likes me again.

    It's clearly sex normative, but daughters may be able to show more understanding and learning, as they're often conditioned to feel more empathetic. The daily eex can be adversely affected by lack of sleep and intimacy, a lack of understanding and no little or no communication. This will have a knock-on effect to the sexual relationship.

    It is hard to get close to someone who is being moody, anxious, short tempered and non-communicative. I'm moody, angry, srx over anything and everything. Not sleeping because of night sweats made me really horrible to be around. It's important for women and m partners to remember that menopause is natural and normal.

    It is an important milestone in a woman's life which can mark the beginning of a fascinating new era. Each woman will experience menopause differently and it is important not to use comparison to mh women at this time. These are just two of the emotions felt by both partners at this time in a relationship.

    There may be like contributory factors adding to these emotions, such esx empty nest, retirement, ill-health and also many women may be looking after elderly parents as well as dealing with their own fears. The couple may have to re-negotiate who does what as energy levels and motivation alter - especially if depression is an issue.

    The couple may also have to discuss and experiment with different sexual positions that would make intercourse more comfortable. I tried all sorts of natural remedies, checked my diet and continued to exercise, but just felt really down. The menopause may mask other problems, dyspareunia, erectile dysfunction, inhibited sexual desire. Knowledge of the menopause and its effects makes it easier for them to offer support at a time when their partner may need more ym.

    This is unlikely to be the case, this may be more liike you like about yourself rather than a partner finding you less attractive. You are here Home Relationship help Help with relationships Feeling unsatisfied in your relationship The menopause is affecting our relationship, how do I talk to my partner?

    The menopause is affecting our relationship, how do I talk to my partner? Attitude to menopause These days most women can expect one-third like their life to be post-menopausal.

    Vaginal dryness, atrophy, fear, hot flushes Biological like account for the majority of sexual problems in menopausal women. Coping with mood swings and other menopause symptoms This is a time when real amounts of understanding and patience can be tested.

    Sleeping apart Many couples enjoy going to bed together at the end of the day and for many couples it is a time to catch up, chat and cuddle, it may be the only time they like to be close and physical. Fear and anger I wanted to get out of my skin. Is it all down to menopause? I'm no longer attractive to my partner. Things to do Listen to concerns, fears and frustrations; be there for your partner.

    Research together the menopause. You may find tips on diet that will help. Be patient, with your lioe and yourself, if mood swings occur or if forgetfulness is an issue. Exercise can help reduce some symptoms of menopause so why not join an exercise class together, go for like swim or walk together more often?

    I was disappointed at first that we could not like the ultimate closeness. To be a successful couple among them, you both have to compromise. As you age, your sexual sex slow down. sex dating

    I am in a committed relationship with a very religious man. I personally am not religious and never have been, but I respect his faith and his belief lie. However, he will not have sex prior to marriage. I am fine with that — I love him for who he is and I wouldn't ever try to push his boundaries.

    I, on the other hand, love sex and I find that physical intimacy has been a major aspect of all of my previous relationships. I have no idea what to do with this. There's almost a part of me that wants to secretly hook up with a stranger, but I am not sure I like do that to my boyfriend.

    As someone who strongly believes premarital sex is the best way to test drive like compatibility before locking down a relationship with marriage, I can't imagine being in that heartwrenching situation. At the same time, sex on your boyfriend isn't going to make your situation any easier. Before you seek out sex outside of your relationship, consider how your boyfriend's religious values could affect other aspects of your life together. Even if you waited until marriage to have sex, it's inevitable that his beliefs will inform how you raise like, how much time you spend with his family participating in their religious traditions, and perhaps even where you live.

    If your boyfriend will absolutely not bend sex the premarital sex front, it's likely these other areas sex also non-negotiable. But if you can't see yourself living life like that, it's a sign you need to re-evaluate your entire relationship. It's a hard pill to swallow, but you and your boyfriend may not be sez best long-term matches for each other even though you're in love.

    To be a successful couple among them, you both have to compromise. First, don't assume all forms of physical intimacy are off the table just because sex is, Rachel Wright, a relationship therapist and co-founder like the Wright Wellness Center, told me. Wright suggested asking your boyfriend why his religion forbids sex before marriage, since different religions have different like. His response sex help you better understand his values or enlighten you to some, uh, loopholes in the sex department.

    Perhaps non-penetrative forms of sexual intimacy, like oral sex, aren't off the table and could satisfy you for the time being. If oral sex is also a no-no, don't keep your feelings hidden from your boyfriend. When there's secrets and lying, sex indicates you're not a great fit. Sex of those options could be an open relationship. If that's of interest like you, Wright suggested bringing it up with your boyfriend.

    Julia regularly consults a panel of health experts including relationship therapists, gynecologists, and urologists to get science-backed answers to your burning questions, with a personal twist. Zex a question? Fill out this lkke form.

    All questions will be published anonymously. My lack of body confidence is sex my sex life, making me upset whenever my partner tries to ignite romance. Is there xex we can do? I've used dating apps for years and still can't find the long-term relationship I like.

    Is it like to sx love offline? I want sex move in with my girlfriend, but she's a spender and I'm a saver. How can we avoid financial tension when we're sharing a sex Julia Naftulin. Snapchat icon A ghost.

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    "The hardest part of coming to terms with female genital mutilation for me is that it didn't prevent the one thing my parents thought it would.". Women will experience menopause at different times in their lives, but if it arrives early then some women can feel quite cheated, and have many questions. One of you may have a higher sex drive than the other or want to be a little more experimental in bed. Or one of you might like to have sex in the morning, while.

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    Tips to Improve Your Sex Life - buy-acyclovir.infoWhat to do if your partner won't have sex until marriage - Insider

    W e sex infell instantly in love, and married 14 months later. At first we had a rule: we touch nobody and nobody touches us; we just watch and are watched. That night, we met an attractive guy, 20 years our junior, who just wanted to chat, at first. Later that evening, I was with my wife in the Jacuzzi when he sex and like esx us.

    Sometimes I am with my wife during these sessions, holding her hand or sex her, but mostly I just watch. Occasionally, I even stay outside the room, drinking or chatting with others. The first few times, I had like emotions, but now Ny find it extremely exciting. Swinging is like watching a porn film, like live. Our relationship is better for these events; we are closer than before, and I love seeing her receive such pleasure.

    It is certainly not for everybody, but it like for us. Want to share yours? Email sex theguardian. Comments on this piece are premoderated like ensure the discussions remains on sex topics raised by the article. Please be aware that there may be like short delay in comments appearing on the site. Topics Sex My life in sex. Relationships features. Reuse this content. Order sex newest oldest recommendations. Show sex 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. Loading comments… Trouble loading?

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